14 November 2011

england survival guide 101

seriously. you need to know how to survive in this wild country. as a kiwi-girl from New Zealand, I could've done with these tips, but I found these out pretty quickly as my parents are british.
these pictures have nothing to do with survival in england. just sayin.

survival tip 0001
always take an umbrella and rain-jacket with you where-ever you go. you put the umbrella up when it starts to rain, then you realize that it's too windy, so you put on your rain-jacket.

survival tip 0002
want to be extra british? go to a fish & chip shop, and order chips, mushy peas, and gravy. 
feel the british-ness.

survival tip 0003
don't say hello to people walking down the street. you'll get a funny look, and they'll walk just that little bit faster. don't smile at them either. oho-no, that doesn't go down well.

survival tip 0004
along with your umbrella and rain-jacket, take a warm jacket, a cellphone, water-proof shoes, and a baseball bat.
warm jacket = do I really need to explain this?
cellphone = you just saw the cutest umbrella in the shop. with polka dots. you have to text your mum.
water-proof shoes = england? it's wet. a lot, a lot wet.
baseball bat = I was kidding. geez.

survival tip 0005
don't shop at harrods on a weekly basis. this is sure way to become broke. like, no-money-broke.

survival tip 0006
talk about the weather. this is very acceptable conversation and entertains some for a good 5 minutes.

survival tip 0007
don't talk about politics. you'll be there for a good hour. want to stay friends with you newly-found british person? no politics.

winners of embrace autumn giveaway:
personalized charm necklace: mary ann
$10 store credit: abby 
please email me ladies!

listening to: tricia brock


  1. England? Yes, please! I live there, so I'm kind of overjoyed you posted about good 'old England. :{)
    And all the things said about England: SPOT ON! I'm ''feeling'' England as you mention those! I'm going to re-read them now and have a good laugh.


  2. pee ess // Can I just say that your photos are absolutely stunning? The second one made my gasp -- it's gorgeously stunning!

  3. the second photo is my favorite. this was absolutely hilarious. :))
    -jocee <3

  4. Haha oh my goodness - these made me laugh! It's my dream to go to England one day. just sayin'. ;)

  5. Oh, wow, that's so cool that I won! I'm so excited! =D

  6. hahaha, this made me laugh. especially survival tip 0004.

  7. I'll have to pass this on to my grandparents who are going to England next summer ;)
    This really made me laugh at points, haha!

  8. Those tips are so cute and funny! But very true! My mom has been there and certainly attests to the wetness of that country. :)

  9. Haha, nice ones Jess.
    What about "When in England, speak with a (faux) British accent?" ;-)
    Recently, when I was leaving the library I'm in at the moment, a man was talking with the librarian with what sounded like a (genuine) British accent, so I figured if I tried to say hello with a fake British accent he'd be able to tell and I'd look silly. :)

    I hope you're kidding about #0006, the weather tip. :O BTW, you should have only used two zeroes for each number so the last would have been 007. ;-)

  10. Um.. haha, do you need me to do anything, or should I just contact the seller? =)

  11. now i want to go to england and smile at people... :p

  12. I love this. Love love love. If and when I go to England, I think I shall take this with me. And a baseball bat of course. ;]

  13. Hahaha! I must be a complete exception to those rules and I'm English through and through! I always smile at people in the street! And I always forget my coat... and I don't own an umbrella... yeah I get wet a lot...

  14. SO apparently I'm blind, and I didn't see the big "email me" that you put on there. Haha, sorry for that. =P I will now, uh, go email you. =)

  15. Leah, Your R-H-F :)19 November 2011 at 22:18

    Haha, I love this!! These are hilarious! :)

  16. I agree with this all! Except the conversations in the street thing. Where I live, strangers are always being nice and talking to you.